it's late, when everyone is mostly sleeping
but im bothered with my own thoughts.
i think i've too much time after the exams

recently, even the simplest things happening around me can trigger my mind to think about stuffs for days;
be it the slightest actions or words around me.
and i begin to question myself.

looking back, this end-of-year was the most horrible one i've ever mugged and sat for.
like, seriously.
fever, dunno-what-the-heck-the-chapter-is-talking-about, not enough time, fatigue etc.
i dont even know how i survived pass that period,
without any real form of encouragement or support.
i dunno. dont feel any encouragement from my parents or friends? yeah
im used to it already, but sometimes, encouragement is needed, right?
even in the simplest forms

yeah, have to apologise to some people for attitude-ing them, and making them worry during this period.
for example, at the lib mugging for a.math with ele and sihui.
made them worry. really sorry =(
even my mum can sense that im really stressed up.
luckily, my parents dont force me to study.
in fact, im just putting the pressure on myself

but afterall, hard work does pay off, in some way or another.
be it a lil bit of improvement or a significant amount
its still improvement afterall, right?
its better than nothing.

whats the point of comparing with your friends?
like what my mum always say,
compare with yourself, and no one else.
you're only competing with yourself, you and only you
strive to improve from your previous grades
if you yourself know that you've improved, its good enough already
thats why i compare with my previous tests or mid-years.
fine, you can compare with your friends to some extent, to encourage you to work harder.
but afterall, if you've improved. thats all that it matters.
it's my opinion, my belief (:
you dont have to agree with me.

theres still much much more on my mind.
like recently, and i mean VERY recently,
something triggered my mind again.

words these days are taken and spoken too lightly
do people really know the meaning of some words or phrases?
words are just said without really fully understanding their meaning.
those words may seem simple, but it carries a meaning.
and people these days say it like a 'hi' and 'bye' sort of thing.
they dont mean what they say, or they say it cause they see everyone saying it.
like it's "in" to say it this way
whats the point of saying something when you dont really mean it?
or worse, you dont truly understanding the meaning of it?

what is the world coming to, huh?


sometimes, i feel like im just contradicting myself with my own thoughts
shall end here, its late, and there's band tomorrow.
and i should stop thinking too much.
= /